“Shopworn”, I thought, is a fun phrase. But what if there were shopworms? Or bookworms? Little parasites that moved from book to book that people had to work to eradicate? That’d be interesting! But then of course I remembered that we* do have that and it is called bedbugs and it is not so much interesting as it is goddamned terrifying. The lesson here being that if given access to our store tumblr account I will immediately begin talking about pests, pests which we do not have, like an idiot.

*’We’ being the world. Not McNally Jackson. NOT MCNALLY JACKSON.